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I thought about all the ways our relationship had surprised me by subverting all my previous conceptions about monogamy and all the ways we were better as individuals because of the strength we held together.
I remember looking at him crumpled in the grass outside the locked gate and seeing his exhaustion painted across his face.
So, in deep denial, we started making these small, friendly gestures of platonic friendship. I brought him a tincture and cough drops when he was sick.
Eventually, our “friendly” gestures got pretty dramatic.
I would have given up then, but it had been too excruciating for me to walk around hiding this growing, all-encompassing secret from him for the past several weeks. I grabbed his hand and we hopped the fence, walking down to the side of the park that faced the Mississippi River.
I sat in his lap, and we sat in silence for a short while, taking in the view. I whispered in his ear, “I have been thinking that I’d like to marry you.” Instantly, his whole demeanor changed.