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Affairs usually start when a man feels misunderstood, like the areas of his life that are important to him are being criticized or deemed not important.Then he finds a woman appreciates him, who gives him something he isn’t getting from his primary relationship…and he strays.When a woman cheats, it’s usually because her emotional needs are no longer being met—maybe she no longer feels seen or cared for or understood.
I thought if I loved him enough then he would snap out of his funk and be the man I knew he could be. I didn’t encourage him to get his act together and instead, tried to take care of everything for him.
Men usually are tempted to cheat when they no longer feel like winners in their relationship. I’m not talking about narcissists or sociopaths or guys with major commitment issues.
A man’s most fundamental drive in this world is to feel like a winner.
I thought if I made his life as easy and manageable as possible he would love me even more and would suddenly find the motivation to get his life in order.
I paid for our dates because he couldn’t afford to, I did his laundry (…because he couldn’t afford to), I cleaned his apartment, I fixed his resume, I searched for job listings online and applied to them for him, I kept doing and doing and was baffled as to why he kept sinking deeper into his rut.