Double your dating 2nd

This may include self-soothing by use of alcohol, overwork, excessive interest in sex or pornography, etc. You do not have to accept or approve of behaviours that are not working for you or your relationship; nor is it your job to fix them.

There is no prescribed way that an experience of sexual abuse will impact on a man or on his relationships. A man will often try to find his own way to deal with the experience of sexual abuse, and will work hard to limit its impact on his life and relationships.

Some men try to manage feeling moody, withdrawn, uncertain and uncommunicative by taking himself off and keeping himself to himself.

He might do this with the idea that this will help stop things from getting worse, or that it might help keep his partner safe. Understand that in all relationships there are times for togetherness and there are times where a little space is welcome.

Remember to take time out if it gets too intense, and then to return to the topic and talk about the important stuff when you have had a breather.

If your partner was sexually abused, some of the ways he has learned to cope, or to keep the thoughts and memories of the abuse at a distance, may be “playing themselves out” in your relationship with him.

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