Dating love ce
Opening yourself up to someone can be frightening for the most secure of people.
To me it’s inviting a stranger to confirm my worst fears about myself.
The ever-overhanging possibility of failing to illicit so much as a response from someone you’ve shared your bed, your innermost thoughts, and a few too many glasses of cheap red wine with makes easy to get caught up in a cycle of over-analysing.
Each telling blue Whats App tick divulging that your message has gone read but unanswered could spell the end.
It’s been knowing my own value, rather than relying on the affirmation of others, or on totting up my sexual worth like it’s a points system based on how many second dates I score.
After graduating from university the fear of failing to achieve excellence gnawed at me.
Dating in the Tinder-age is particularly triggering for anyone struggling with their mental health.
When the next better thing is a mere right swipe away rejection is expected, to be blocked out by seeking more matches, more dates, more distractions from the niggling sense of being not quite good enough.
I was sure that each unsuccessful relationship was a reflection on me, and that if only I could somehow do better I would be rewarded.
I became fixated on becoming the cool girl who I was convinced that everyone wanted to be with.