Conflicts in dating

If you care about someone, then consider adopting these 10 rules as part of the way you communicate with them when you are trying to resolve a conflict: Rule #1: Don't yell.

Adding emotion clouds the clarity of what actually happened.

Author's Note: This post is an excerpt of the book (click on title): "Seven Keys to Long-Term Relationship Success." It’s normal for a couple to quarrel from time to time—just part of what it means to be together.

Conflicts and arguments won’t necessarily jeopardize a relationship.

People rarely get upset for no reason, so there is a good chance that there is at least a kernel of truth to what they are saying.

Rule #4: Don't speak in generalities of another person's behavior; speak only to direct examples and instances of action.

Like fine wine, their relationship improves with age and gets better over time.

Although the idea of waiting for the other person to apologize first seems vindicating, it's actually a guaranteed sign of how you care more about being based solely on the actions that took place regardless of which side you're on.

Verbal abuse is never welcome to a conflict resolution party.

Rule #9: Remind yourself the other person also cares about reconciling the relationship.

Couples with poor conflict resolution skills typically engage in Fight, Flight, or Freeze behaviors.

They fight and stay mad, sometimes holding grudges for years.